Has anyone ever wondered about the people who pin perfectly decorated cupcakes, amazingly delicious cookies, totally cute craft projects, or ingenious DIY renovations? Are they really people or alien life forms sent to make us normal humans look like total losers?
You think I jest, but have you ever really come close to copying one of those 5,000 easy-looking pins on Pinterest? Yeah, me neither.
To prove my point, here is my most recent epic fail. Since you obviously cannot tell what these are supposed to be, let me help paint the appropriate picture. Valentine’s Day cookies with gooey heart centers. Do any of those look like hearts? Sadly, no. In my defense, the oven we were using at the church has temperature issues. So, the sugar cookies melted rather than baked. Then, we cut up gummy bears to shape into hearts. The gummys did melt, but they did not stay contained to the heart-shaped wells we made in the center of the cookies. Obviously.
Now, lest you think I’m just a moron who can’t follow directions or has no creative bones, let me show you a few successes.
My fruit-inspired trifle with angel food cake, fresh strawberries, blueberries, kiwi and freshly whipped cream. While my photography lacks good lighting and composition, you can tell the finished product was pretty awesome.
The icing bag busted on these cupcakes, but I was still able to get the ribbon effect on most of them with the M&Ms nestled in. Not perfect, but cute enough.
No decorating necessary on these nut-free no-bake cookies. See, I can follow directions!
And finally, my one real success. Pioneer Woman’s chocolate-covered s’mores. These are seriously easy (when using store-bought marshmallows) and really hard to not make cute, though I’m sure I could do it if given the proper stress level.
In summary, if you fell like a total loser every time you try a Pinterest idea, rest assured you are in good company. I’m no Martha Stewart, but I can feed a hungry crowd with some small amount of style. But making it look like it belongs on a magazine cover? Ain’t happening.
On the other hand, what if all that pretty food is nothing more than cardboard and paint? Then, I think I’ve got the better deal. No one is leaving my kitchen hungry, at least. This is real life, after all. First, they airbrush the models, then they airbrush the food. Maybe the movie, The Matrix, isn’t so far-fetched, after all.